April 14, 2021 | 12:40pm EDT
The Enneagram Personality Test can be taken on various websites including EclecticEnergies.com (my favorite) as well as Truity.com and The EnneagramInstitute.com. It’s a personality test based in psychology that categorizes people into nine different personality types. However, there are also wings and when you take it you get a list and therefore can figure out a combination of the numbers. After all, personalities are complex, but learning more about yours (and those around you) can actually be life-changing.
I have personally learned so much from reading about the personality types that match me and my loved ones. I’ve even delved into watching psychologist Dr. Tom La Hue on his YouTube channel. There are so many ways to learn about the Enneagram whether it’s through Pinterest, YouTube, or various websites. You can even get certified in Enneagram coaching.
I’ve learned a lot and I hope more people will discover themselves more through The Enneagram Personality Test. So here is what you can gain from learning your Enneagram!
1. Insight into what fear you’re hiding from
About a year ago I discovered my primary personality type is the Enneagram 2, or “The Helper.” This means, at my core of who I am, I wish to be loved and attempt to gain that through helping others. But after watching Tom La Hue’s in depth videos on my Enneagram, I’ve learned that every person struggles from a misbelief. As a Two, I subconsciously feel like I need to be helpful to be loved. I may hide from this by saying I simply help because I like doing it. But in the end, Twos desire appreciation from others for their help.
Another thing I’ve learned is that the “sin” (since the Enneagram at one point was a Christian tool) of the Two is pride. Twos believe other people need them more than they need anyone. Knowing the things that drive me subconsciously and what I hide from within myself has opened my eyes quite a bit.
So if you want introspection on yourself and what you may be hiding from, The Enneagram is a great tool. Learning more about oneself can lead to having a more fulfilling life. Now that I know I’m afraid of not being loved or needed, I can work to unpack that fear and learn to love myself more.
2. What you truly need to hear
We all have things that make us feel good when we hear them. However, there are things that especially help each Enneagram. For the Three, “The Achiever,” they like to hear affirmations and signs of admiration. However, what they need to hear most is that they are loved for who they are, not what they achieve.
Learning what you either may not have heard as a child or were never able to internalize can be very healing. Another example would be the Two needs to hear that they are loved for who they are as well, and that whether they help or not they have value and are lovable.
What you really need to hear to feel whole is different for each type, but boils down to the fact that every life has value simply because life is special. We are not only loved for our achievements, helpfulness, positivity, or loyalty, we are also loved just for existing. This is an important reminder we may all need to hear.
3. How you can improve
As a Two, I tend to be sensitive to criticism. Some of Dr. Tom La Hue’s videos are painful to watch because it’s like looking at a mirror into my mistakes and flaws. But it’s the only way to truly become the healthiest version of myself. Living life at my lowest doesn’t just make my life terrible, but harms the people around me as well. There are so many benefits from learning how to be a better version of yourself.
As a Two, I have a hard time voicing my needs. This isn’t just what I’ve read online and heard from Dr. La Hue, it’s an actual fact from my life. I suppress negative emotions and feel like a burden for expressing my needs or negativity. Learning this about myself and being able to name the things I struggle with has helped me immensely with how I can have stronger relationships with others and with myself.
Another part of the Enneagram is the wings, which are important for finding balance in life. As a 2w3 (Two Wing Three) I am a Two who also shares traits with Threes. This means I lean to one side more, and on the side I lean away from is the One (it’s in numerical order). If I want to be more balanced I need to lean more towards being like a One and less like a Three. The Enneagram has helped me see myself clearer, and will continue to lead me to improve myself and therefore my life.
4. How you can improve your relationships
The Enneagram also explains our ways of moving towards other types when we are healthy and unhealthy. For example, when a Two (The Helper) is unhealthy, they move towards the Eight (The Challenger). This means Twos can suddenly become very confrontational when they have bottled things up too much.
Knowing how you act when you’re unhealthy and how your partner or close friends and family act will help you take a step back when you need to. It’s also important to know what it looks like when you’re at your healthiest so that you can see who encourages this in you. For example, as a Two I could hypothetically lose my identity to just wanting to help others and completely lose my sense of self. However, a healthy Two shares traits with a Four (The Individualist). Even as a Two I have a lot of Four (second highest on my results). This means I can tap into my creativity and the things that make me unique, and that when I do so I am accessing a healthy part of myself I truly need.
In the end, The Enneagram has taught me so much about myself, my family, and my friends. I’ve learned how to be healthier, happier, and more connected to who I am. I’ve even learned what the people closest to me need and need to hear and how best to add to their lives. I highly recommend discovering your Enneagram and looking into how you can know yourself better. Surely you and your loved ones will be glad you did.